Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
