Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
