What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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