So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
