Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
