I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
