Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
