dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
