what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
