Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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