So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
