Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
