Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
