He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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