He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
