Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
