I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
