Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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