He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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