no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
