Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
