i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
