I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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