She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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