Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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