i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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