how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
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