I need help removing her.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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