im having a threesome with these popsicles
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
how drunk are you?
Several
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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