Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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