Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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