So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
