I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
