Me. At least after what I've been through.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
