I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
