K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I want a musical about memes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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