She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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