You made me cry and you don't even care
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
