Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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