She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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