ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
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