then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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