What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
