I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
