Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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