That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
