The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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