I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
