HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
