Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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