we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
