it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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